I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize