Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
