I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
