I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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