I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
