did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Im part way to drunk.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize