So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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