I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
