Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm both gender and math confused
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
