Porn is love you can see.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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