Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
