it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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