Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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