What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize