i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
