I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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