A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
