1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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