R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My pussy is not your playground.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
