He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
