there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
