she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
