it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
