She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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