What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
