D3 body, D1 cock
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
