We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
