My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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