yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
