No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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