don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
