My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
