it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
