i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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