Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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