HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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