The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
