I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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