I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
