Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
