i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
