Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
