I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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