can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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