Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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