Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i would punch a child for taco bell
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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