can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
