i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
