Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
