I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
