If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
