You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
