it was like having sex with a tree stump
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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