worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
