Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
