was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
