i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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