Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize