i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
