If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
