What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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