Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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