So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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