and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
