my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
