it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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