i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
