I must be too annoying 4 u.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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