That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize