He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
