no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize